“Personal Growth” is a wild goose chase
The notion of personal growth is almost always one that is based on an internal process that happens in isolation or, at best, with another person or in a private setting, away from the real world.
Our “issues” are not created in isolation - they arise in situations where people are ill-equipped to connect with one another, food quality is poor, communities are weak…
If our issues do not arise in isolation, how can it make sense that personal growth is effective in isolation? What most of us are missing are the very things that accompany a sense of belonging. Most people are not actually broken, though this does occur, but for the rest of us, the majority of us, what we need are the very things that are found through relationship, through community.
Our personal growth is dependent on others. And not just other in the safety of a contained space, but others in the wild uncertainty of life. Yes, there are dangerous people and dangerous things happen like car accidents and cancer. But the solution to this is not to pull away in the privacy of a little room or a self-help book, but to reach out to the people around us who will love and support and nurture us through the difficulties.
There is something very powerful about learning that 98% of the people in this world are good and kind and caring, even strangers. And there is something even more powerful about experiencing this goodness and kindness when you aren’t paying someone for it.
Putting energy into personal growth is a worthwhile endeavor, but it is ultimately a wild goose chase that results in frustration and lack of meaningful results when done in isolation.
We MUST move out of our heads and into the world by experiencing the variable that other brings to the equation. This is the only thing that truly changes our story and brings us into the present moment and the aliveness that is available to us.
Belonging. Love. Connection. Presence. Aren’t these ultimately the results we’re seeking? If so, we need less pages and more people - less focus on self and more relationship.