sadeewhip

Something profound I learned about myself recently is this: I can handle anything but lying. Truly. I’ve learned I have an immense capacity for people being who they really are and being where they really are.

All of us have character flaws, personality quirks, weaknesses. Really none are much worse than others. Some are more annoying maybe but that says more about the one making the judgment than the one judged. To be clear, I’m talking personality flaws, not psychological issues.

So here’s the thing - whatever your deal is, whatever faults or flaws you carry, just own it. Judging does little good. But owning it does several good things. The first is that it diffuses it so whatever the flaw is has less power and we are less likely to be manipulated or weakened by it, meaning we are less likely to act without integrity. The other benefit is that when you own it you give other people the opportunity to know you and that creates the possibility for just a ton of intensity and love.

When we hide who we are, it isn’t invisible. There is always some trace, some vibration of it in the air around us. And the people who are most connected to us will feel it. But if you lie about who you are then the energy signals that constantly and often undetectably run between people get all wonky. If we don’t tell the truth we leave other people in the wonkiness. This is not a nice thing to do to another person because it scrambles their radar and they feel confused or yucky but have no idea why and no possibility of finding an answer.

This sets off a chain reaction of miscommunication, missed connection, missed intimacy and pretty soon we wind up missing the experience of an entire person. And we feel not connected to them and don’t know why.

Not lying, not hiding, brings a clarity to the world that is healthy and needed. And it is the simplest and perhaps most difficult thing we can do to make the world and ourselves better.

If you are in a relationship that is important in your life, spend less time “working” on yourself or judging yourself or hiding yourself and just tell the truth. You may be surprised at people’s capacity to handle it and you will feel whatever is blocking your heart begin to melt away. You will begin to experience things that bring about amazing, enlivening, vital change. Your whole world will brighten. We are most alive and enlivened when we don’t hide.

When your heart is unguarded and open like this you naturally become a more loving person, a more compassionate person, a more feeling person and a more connected person. We become jucier. We become all the things we think we need to go off and learn somewhere else. And we being to experience all the things we think we need to go seek to experience. It just plops in our lap without us going anywhere.  It’s a chain reaction set off by telling the truth and what results in being truly seen. This makes your whole world more free and frees up incredible possibilities for being truly alive.