by Sadee on December 4, 2013
It is freezing outside. The kind of cold that coats everything in tiny diamonds. The ordinary faded brown deck becomes a platform for a queen. The leaves are all twinklyfine like God is about to come visit.
Walking my dog last night in this cold the grass crunched under my feet. And I wondered, how does something so thin and small and frozen not snap in half when my giant boots tromp over it?
How do the feet of crows stay warm?
How do snails survive?
What happens to the earthworms?
What do people who have no homes do?
I feel my heart let these questions go like a cluster of worry-balloons. I take a breath and thank the Divine for the invisible web of care I cannot see.
My faith does not come blindly.
The Divine is alive in my cells like miniature fires. And I know it lives in others. It’s in everything, though some are too afraid or swollen or otherwise occupied to really notice.
Yesterday I went to the neighborhood convenience store. There is a woman named Donna who works there. She is a fleshy flame of a young woman, warm and alive and energy. I liked her the moment I saw her.
The door to the store was open and she was behind the counter in a thick brown sweater over another sweater with a big black scarf and half-gloves, the kind that leave your fingers nakedly available to do fingery things.
At the counter I said “You look like you’re freezing! Can’t you shut the door?”
She explained something about the refrigerated section and condensation and the need for the door to be open. Then I asked “Don’t you have a space heater?” They did but it barely worked and was noisy.
I had an extra space heater in my garage so I ran home and brought it back to her. It was maybe 6 minutes of my time round-trip.
I handed it to her and she looked at it like it was a small box of Munchkins. She didn’t know what to say.
As I left I thought about the look on her face. About the fact that what I did seemed very odd to her because people don’t often do things like that. Which is weird. I mean, really weird.
The Divine – that bulging, beckoning, glorious glob of Love – is in every heart. Every heart. And our happiness, our health, our sanity, and every millimeter of our being is dependent on it being free to roam about through our fingertips and mouths and hips and arms and thoughts and breath.
But we have to get out of the way, don’t we?
We have to stop saying “No”.
We have to stop being afraid that loving is worse that fearing.
The thing is that every time you hold back love, every time you refuse its juicy arrival, every time you limit or ignore or decline its bold decent into your bones, a tiny part of you weakens.
Love nourishes us. And I don’t mean the small moments of personal love we experience when we are comfortable or familiar with someone/something. (Though these are wonderful)
I mean the Love that feels too big, too welcoming, too caring, for the smallness of our self-identity and place in the world.
That’s the Love that is food for the vitality of the soul.
So when I let go of my worries, give them to the Divine, what I am doing is reminding myself that the Love that is in me is in everyone and each of us, in our way, are lovers - heater givers and worm picker-uppers and whale advocates and smile spreaders and kind word speakers and money donaters and huggers and caring witnesses who sometimes feel helpless but help none the less.
Some of us are more bold and some of us are more quiet, but most all of us are hapless vessels for an energy that is so wonderfully insistent it has us say and do and think things so connected as to be embarrassing.
One of the most thrilling adventures is to allow Love.
If you want a really juicy, non-boring day, allow Love.
If you want to feel joy, to feel alive and as sparkly as a frost-covered deck, allow Love.
People read books, take seminars, contemplate, yoga, and pray for a variety of reasons. The answer to any and all seeking is to allow Love.
It really is that simple. And it can be terrifying. But the more you do it, the more addictive it becomes – the Divine is tricky like that.
Allowing Love raises us all up. It elevates the energy in the cosmic room. It feeds far away galaxies and earthly microbes. Everything benefits. But especially those things, those beings, that really need it.
Love doesn’t just float around. It comes into this world through the living beings that are here. We are the access points. We are like transformers, making it possible for the cosmic, generic Love to find its specific target and light it up. Holding it back is not only selfish, but bad for your health.
We need Love as much as Love needs us. It’s an exquisite partnership – a lavish symbiosis.
Today, just for today, allow Love as much as it wants, every moment, and just see what happens. Ask it to come in and follow its lead like a sacred path in the forest and see where it takes you, what treasures it gives.
“This fire that we call Loving is too strong for human minds. But just right for human souls.”
May the Love in you give you a nice big yummy jolt today.